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    A Detailed Biblical History according to the Book of id

    The Old Testament

    In the very beginning, before life itself and time began, a cold, dark world with fluffy white clouds was created by the lord id. On this world did id place a lush green sanctuary known as Eden. And in this oasis did id place DogMeat and Stryker as his bitches. It was a time known to most as 3 B.C. (Before Counter-strike) or to some others as 1996.

    But DogMeat and Stryker became troublesome and tired of the lushness, so explored their wholesome world in search of adventure. And verily did they discover a thing called the internet. The gracious lord id saw their discomfort and taking a sector from his own hard disk drive did create a spawn program. id planted the spawn program in the garden and gushed forth much fertilizer onto it and nourished it with multiplayer options. Two seeds sprouted and were nurtured well. And the seeds grew and became known as Quake and Quake2 of the house of id software.

    After the untimely death of Quake, the younger Quake2 grew and prospered and went out into the valley of the night and put it around a bit, causing many paternity suits. But the house of Quake2 grew stronger with the number of his offspring. Then Quake2's youngest child, known as Quake2 Action ...